Andrew:
Recently I
have been making myself sound very important
hahahahahaha by telling people to
be more positive because doing the 3 in 1 mudras, reverse colour chakras and lo
shu - turns you into a poweful thought magnet.
But I didn't
really speak about how to deal with the negative thoughts that we have though
one day i will do a simple yet effective workshop of acknowledging your
thoughts and seeing them leaving your mental and emotional fields.
But in the
meantime, there are still people out there myself included who do get pissed
off at times. So how do we deal with
that? We have yet to understand that negative thoughts are very powerful
teachers – negative thoughts teach us that we have chosen what we don’t want.
The
strangest thing about the human race is that we keep choosing thoughts that hurts us.
Now why is that?
I was told that some of us choose hurtful thoughts so that people will pity us and pay more attention to us and try to help us. However in the long run, that doesn't work and people will leave us to stew in our own hot soup.
No one wants to be with a negative person forever.
So I was
looking around the Wake Up World newsletter that I get regularly and here is an
article by Julia Tang. And here are some answers.
Positivity. Are you faking it?
Have you
ever forced yourself to be positive when you really wanted to punch a pillow or
tell the world to screw off instead?
Maybe you
are desperately trying to live by the mantra of “positivity thinking kills
negativity,” or don’t want to appear like an ungrateful jerk when you receive
the 3rd wedding invitation in the mail after your last messy breakup.
Perhaps you
obsess over teachings from Law of Attraction gurus about cultivating positive
thoughts so you can attract positive things, or feel ashamed to show your true
feelings because every person on your social media is smiling like Christmas
came early for them and makes you question your own sanity.
I have
committed almost every single one of the “forced positivity” listed above in
the past, and much more.
Don’t get me
wrong, positive thinking is a beautiful thing, and it is essential for all of
us to take care of our vibration for multiple reasons. However, being fixated
on the idea “I must think positive regardless of how I am truly feeling” may
just make you more miserable.
Why? And how to turn it around?
1: It
Creates Bypassing
I cannot
tell you how much spiritual bypassing forced positivity has created in many
which often results in increased anxiety and self-blame leading to inevitable
self-doubt of, “What is wrong with me and shouldn’t I be more grateful?”
In case you
are not familiar with spiritual bypassing, it is when we skip the necessary
self-work in order to chase after the end result of that work which usually is
genuine joy, inner-peace, bliss, etc.
The goodness
which we all desire in life is more of a result of having performed a deep
emotional house cleaning to free ourselves from baggage. So when you are
constantly avoiding the unwanted emotions stemming from past wounds and current
experiences, you are actually skipping the work you need in order to get to
that good feeling place!
Worse, that
energy you try so hard to bypass is not going anywhere when you sweep it under
the rug and will come back again and again to bite you in the butt until it is
processed.
This is one
of the reasons why those who rely solely on affirmations or meditation as means
of escape without having confronted their inner demons find it difficult to
achieve the same results after a while, and the reason is because they are not
meant to be used as spiritual band-aids.
Solution: Let it Out
Emotion is
Energy in Motion. As Einstein stated long ago, “Energy cannot be created or
destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another.”
That means,
when you experience the energy of anger, fear or anything you deem unpleasant,
if your first reaction is to engage the often-times unconscious defense
mechanisms (dissociation, projection, denial, repression, etc) in order not to
feel, that energy which has a specific frequency gets stored in the body and
does not have any opportunity to be released, processed or integrated.
The more you
avoid facing negative emotions, the more that energy gets trapped in your
system which creates all kinds of havoc. When this is done chronically, it
creates energy blockages in your energy centers which manifest as mental,
emotional and physical ailments.
A burning
question you may have as you are reading this is, “Doesn’t the act of dwelling
in negativity damage my health?”
The answer
is an absolute yes. So here is the difference: when you are constantly throwing
pity parties, you are coming from an unconscious victim mentality and
perpetuating the victimhood cycle.
If you,
however, choose to set a time aside in a safe setting with the intention of
honoring how you are feeling and being present with your emotions, you have
stepped into the shoes of a conscious creator. These two vibrations are
drastically different!!
Don’t be
surprised to experience a pleasant shift in your energy when you truly embrace
your emotions, and that is when you are more receptive to creative insights.
I personally
find when I fully allow myself to feel whatever comes up, after a while, it
usually leads to genuine calmness and inner peace.
2: It Creates More Negativity
Many who
have an incomplete understanding of Law of Attraction (technically, it is Laws
of Attraction since there are multiple universal laws in operation when it
comes to using thoughts to create reality) believe since like attracts like, we
need to always be in a joyful state in order to attract more awesomeness into
life.
While this
is all true, what you may not be aware of is that all the goodness in life only
gets attracted to you if you have the energy of genuine, as opposed to forced
positivity.
Given over
90% of your mental capacity is dominated by the unconscious mind which is the
seat of all beliefs, experiences, memories and intuition, and since beliefs and
thoughts create corresponding emotions, it doesn’t really matter what you are
attempting to do with the limited conscious mind if you cannot take care of
what is going on in the unconscious.
That means
when the guy next door successfully sells all the spots for his upcoming luxury
spiritual retreat, and your first reaction is, “Who does he think he is, that
materialistic fake,” but instead you shove concepts like “love thy neighbor”
and “we are all swimming in a giant soup of Oneness” down your throat in order
to avoid feeling the unpleasant emotions of judgment and jealousy, that energy
which comes from an underlying and most likely unconscious belief of lack will
always come back to haunt, and create more lack.
You do not
attract what you think you need or want. You attract who you are – your most
predominant energy.
Solution: Dive Deeper
After
allowing yourself to feel, it is worth to do a bit of self-inquiry such as “Why
am I feeling jealous? Is it because I believe life is unfair, or the guy is
luckier and more capable than I am?
It may then
become, “I wish my parents were rich and gave me their business so I don’t have
to struggle in life.”
Keep going. Write
down every layer of your thoughts. Be brutally honest.
Eventually,
ask yourself, “What is it that I must have to believe in about myself and the
world in order to create my initial reaction?
It probably
will look something like, “I believe the world is full of lack and I cannot
receive everything I want” or “I believe prosperity is only for nasty and
greedy folks instead of the kind ones.”
Now the
party really begins. It boils down to taking complete self-responsibility, and
turning every light on in your emotional house and giving the space a thorough
inspection to see what limiting beliefs are generating unpleasant emotions, and
what you can do to reprogram them rather than forcing yourself to fake
happiness and acceptance.
3: Negativity Serves a Higher Purpose
I use the
terms good/bad and positive/negative rather loosely in my speech as everything
is relative in life.
There is no
true positivity or negativity from the perspective of your higher self because
it only sees perfection in all; in this life, however, there is what serves
you, and what doesn’t.
Some of the
best things in my life came out of embracing the most negative experiences.
When I was
at my last soul-sucking job under two bosses that resembled the relentless
Agents from the Matrix, I kept on telling myself to look at the positives such
as “I got a pay check” (so I could put food on the table, have a roof to sleep
under and wake up miserable again, yay) or “I worked close to home” (which
enabled me to spend more time sulking and complaining about the Agents and the
killer sentinels over texts with coworkers).
After a
decade of forced positivity while having made myself a permanent home at rock
bottom, I finally realized I was trying to conceal burning coals with a thin
piece of paper that said, “This isn’t so bad, just look at the positives.”
Eventually,
the fire blew up and led to a series of most scary yet miraculous decisions in
my life that allowed me to reclaim my freedom in every way.
Along the
path, I have encountered dear and courageous souls who after embracing the
negativity in their lives be it cancer, addictions or failed suicide attempts,
are dedicating their lives to service humanity by creating campaigns to support
research for psychedelics or opening spiritual retreats to inspire and empower
others.
Solution: Use Negativity as a Springboard
Contrary to
the common belief, there is nothing frightening about negative emotions because
emotions cannot hurt you. Emotions are components of your internal guidance
system which is an extension of Universal Intelligence. Whenever you feel, you
are literally receiving an intuition from your higher self as to whether you are
heading in a direction that is aligned with it, or meandering too far from it.
Ultimately,
every negative emotion and rock bottom serves the purpose of revealing to you
that you alone have the power to choose the quality of your life whether it is
to change the direction of your course, or change your perspective of how you
experience things.
You can
either continue to convince yourself to stay positive while bury your true
emotions, or face whatever situation you are in head-on, own it with absolute sincerity
and 100% responsibility, then do something about it.
Complete and
utter liberation follows the moment you whole-heartedly own everything that
shows up in your life as something you have created on some level whether
consciously or unconsciously.
By
confronting your worst nightmares and inviting the emotions as well as the
lessons underneath into your life, you are reclaiming your infinite power of
creation and announcing to the universe, “I created that, now I can use that
power to create something else.”
Just like
that, the negativity you have been afraid to face can now set you free.
Some Final Thoughts
We are
taught to fear the shadow because we do not truly understand it. Those who dive
into the shadow with curiosity and openness will always discover hidden keys to
wisdom and greater liberation for the simple reason that darkness in life is
not meant to crush you, it is meant to invite you into this space where the old
can be destroyed so the new can be built. It is meant to wake you up.
“The ego
says, ‘I shouldn’t have to suffer,’ and that thought makes you suffer so much
more. It is a distortion of the truth, which is always paradoxical. The truth
is that you need to say yes to suffering before you can transcend it.” –
Eckhart Tolle
Recommended
Articles by Juliet Tang:
· 7 Ways to Access Inner Peace Now –
What Life In New York Has Taught Me
· How to Speak Your Truth in Life – and
the Cost of Not Doing It
· Money and Spirituality – 5 Common
Abundance Blocks, and How to Transform Them
· Awakening: 7 Steps to Ease the Labor
Pain of Spiritual Rebirth
· I Woke Up and the World Around Me is
Still Asleep… What to Do?
· Whose Voice Are You Listening To?
· If Your Boss Is Dolores Umbridge – 4
Spiritual Tools for the Workplace
· Living From The Divine Ordinary
· Reclaiming My Power From Big Pharma: A
Journey of Healing Depression, PTSD, Ambien Addiction and Beyond
· 10 Ways to Raise Our Vibration
· Teachings of Ayahuasca – Creation,
Death, Rebirth, and 15 Essential Life Lessons
· How to Embrace and Live Your Mission
in This Dream Called Life
· The Search for Enlightenment: 5 Crucial
Lessons…and Why None of It Actually Matters
About the
Author:
Juliet Tang
is a Consciousness Empowerment Coach who works with individuals around the
world via Skype. She began her spiritual studies at a young age and specializes
in empowering those who are awakening to expand their consciousness, embrace
their true power and master deliberate manifestation using a variety of
coaching and healing techniques. Juliet holds a BA in psychology and MA in
education, and was a social worker and teacher with a decade of teaching
experience. Juliet incorporates powerful and practical tools such as
visualization, NLP, reprogramming of the unconscious mind through trance work,
vibrational medicine as well as mindfulness techniques into all coaching
sessions. She also holds workshops on conscious creation and Reiki
Certification in Midtown, NYC.
Juliet’s
coaching programs can be found here.
You can
connect with Juliet online at:
· www.jewelshealinggarden.com
· www.facebook.com/JewelsHealingGarden
· www.instagram.com/jewelshealinggarden
· www.twitter.com/JewelsHealing
Grab your
free copy of “The No BS Guide – 5 Steps to Authentic Joy and Greater Freedom in
5 Days, Made for Busy People Who Want True Positivity After Affirmations &
Meditations Have Failed Them”. juliettang.com/free
